Kiran Chug and Musings on motherhood
Sometimes, I wish I could have a little time to myself. In fact, I’m greedy. I don’t wish for a little time – I wish for a lot.
I wish for a break from having a child on my shoulder or clinging to my knees. I wish for a break from the demands of a baby and a toddler.
I wish for a little time off breastfeeding and I wish for a little respite from incessant requests.
I don’t, of course,begrudge my 21-month-old or 2-month-old for any of these things. But sometimes, I wish for a break.
If I had a few hours, I’d make myself lunch and a cup of tea and eat and drink it all while it was hot. I’d do it sitting down too.
I’d fold all the laundry. I’d tidy our bedroom. I’d write thank you cards that should have been sent eight weeks go. I’d paint my nails, I’d clean out the wardrobes, I’d go for a long walk without a buggy, and I’d do a whole lot of other boring stuff. But I’d enjoy it.
To have a little time to me and a little space for me would be so very welcome sometimes.
But would I be lonely? Yes.
It is an amazing thing that children do. They exhaust you, they deplete your energy. But, they need you. And before long, you need them too. You think you want some time and space without them – but do you? What would you do?
I’ll keep wishing for a day when I get to paint my nails and drink my tea while it is hot. But deep down, I only want a little time to myself. Just enough to recharge and refocus, and perhaps have a short nap. And then, I’ll happily scoop up one child and hold on tight to the other, and be very glad they are in my space.